Unexpected
by gleekforever1996
Summary: when Kurt is feeling his worse, an unexpected helper comes through for him. takes place after the Diva-Off in episode "Wheels"
1. Prolouge

Sometimes it's funny. Funny how people always misjudge you and think you have no heart. Kurt Hummel knew this feeling personally. Everyone thought he was full of himself and pushy. True, he was, but he did have a soul. It was mostly dedicated to Finn and his dad. Today, he would test his confidence and pride, for both of them. He straightened his Alexander McQueen sweater and walked into the choir room where the glee club was scattered. Today, he would blow it, for them.


	2. Problems

"And you won't bring me down!! Bring me down! Ohh oh ohh ohhhh!" Applause filled the room as Rachel finished her big solo. She grinned. Everyone in the room was shocked at how great her voice could really be. She had pushed herself to the limit to get this. Although the other kid had done great, she knew she had taken it home. Kurt had blown it. Blown it! Rachel knew how much he had wanted it. There must be a reason he gave it up, but what? Rachel was so busy thinking this over, she didn't notice when Finn came up behind her. He put his hand on her shoulder and she flipped around to face her intruder. Realizing it was Finn, she smiled and he grinned in that adorable dopey way he has. He looked at her for a minute before speaking.

"Rachel, you're… amazing! I mean, like, incredible. You will so win this thing! You have my vote, guaranteed. " just then, Quinn waltzed over to the two and looked at Rachel and her hideous outfit for a moment before speaking.

"I hate to say this, but you were really good, I may hate you, but I'd rather vote for you than Kurt. Gay boy creeps me out, I mean, he almost never smiles." That was true, Kurt hadn't smiled or laughed in a week or so. Rachel quietly wondered why. Finn smiled and kissed Quinn before kissing Rachel's forehead to bring her back to reality. None of them were aware of the emotional wreck watching them embrace. Said emotional wreck was about to explode from the pain in his heart from his desire for Finn Hudson. Finn hugged them both loosely, and they both giggled when he smiled stupidly and said how much they both rocked. Then the emotional wreck exploded. Suddenly, a loud noise broke their bubble of joy.

CRASH! Finn looked up the same time the girls did to see the chair flipped over and Kurt standing there. He flung his book bag at the wall as a tear ran down his face. He bolted for the door, but everyone heard his sobs.

"Kurt! Kurt wait!" Mercedes ran and called after her friend, but stopped when she got to the door, because he was gone, the school door swinging closed behind him. She looked around the room until her eyes rested on Finn and Rachel accusingly. Mr. Shue clapped his hands to get everyone's attention. He cleared his throat while staring at the door.

"um, ok, guys cast your votes and then you can go." People came up and put their ballots on the shiny black piano before gathering their things and heading out the door. The all looked across the room the door Kurt had run out of, but he didn't come back. He was gone.


	3. Misery

Kurt running off was random yes, but necessary. Kurt was already feeling trashed, near the breaking point, after Rachel sung. He knew he couldn't win, not with the way he preformed. But it was more than that. So much more. Kurt was feeling like an emotional whirlwind after Finn hadn't even looked his direction. Hurt and depressed, he watched as he kissed the two girls before embracing them. As if Quinn's words didn't hurt him enough. He would give anything to be in that spot. Love. Sucked. Ass.

All these swirls of emotion flowed through Kurt at uncontrollable speeds, anger, hurt, depression, he knew the tears were coming before his vision began to blur. Seeing Finn kiss the two girls was the breaking point. Everyone knew he liked Finn, and they thought it as merely a crush. Why couldn't they see how deep it really was? God, he hated them! No one would ever understand or care.

He had hid his feelings forever, and yet no one cared. The realization of how… alone he was made the tears spill.. He got up and his emotions spilled out. He took his book bag and flung it as hard as he could against the wall, satisfied that Finn looked at him. He felt the first tear run down his face and more came after. He stopped for a second and flipping his now empty chair before running, the tears no flowing freely, sobs leaking out before he even escaped the choir room.

He thought he heard someone call after him, but threw it off his shoulder as the knocked the door open. He ran out into the pouring midday Ohio rain, not even caring if the water ruined his hair which he knew it would. He knew he still had half the school day left, but he didn't care. There was no point in caring, not now. He couldn't go back, and it was the Friday before winter break, so who cared?

His car was parked on the edge of the lot. He never knew he could run as fast as he did that day. He needed to get away from that school. When he was a good distance from the school, he lost it. Splurs of emotion and pain spilled out. He was sobbing so uncontrollably he was choking. He suffocated himself as he gasped for air in between cries. He was shaking horribly, uncontrollably, which just made the tears run faster.

He began to question what purpose he had, if there was one.

Kurt had had suicidal thoughts before, of course, living in homophobic Ohio, it came as no surprise. Today was different however. He really took his own life into consideration. What did he have to live for? His non-existent love life? His friends? Or lack thereof? Finn would never want him. Really the only reason he never would kill himself was his father. He remembered how torn his dad was by his mom's death, he couldn't do that again.

By the time he had collected himself and reached his home it was the start of the afternoon classes. He stumbled into the doorway, his body completely numb. Tears dripped onto the floor and stained the carpet. He tripped down the stairs in his basement and cut his head. The tears ran faster at the shrieking pain above his right eye. He stepped into the shower as soon as he could and sat on the floor for a good hour, letting his tears run off of his body, tumbling down the drain and disappearing forever.


	4. Idea

Mr. Shue looked at the ballots. Not a single vote for Kurt. Huh. After Spanish ended, he called Rachel up to his desk.

"Rachel, congrats. You got the part." Mr. Shue looked at her and smiled. Rachel smiled back, but her heart wasn't in it. She felt Kurt deserved it, but why? I mean, he obviously didn't care if he screwed up that badly, right? That still confused her. She knew how much that song meant to him, every time he had belted it out in his private rehearsals, she could hear the passion in his voice. And every time, he had hit that note perfectly.

Rachel had no classes with Kurt until the end of the day, French class. Kurt was one of the only kids in the school who spoke the she looked in the halls, searching faces. Hoping to see blue green eyes staring her down with that sarcastic look to them. She saw nothing. Her only hope was that he would show up for French. He was one of the two kids in school who spoke the language fluently, the other being Rachel herself. She knew how much the language made Kurt happy; he always smiled when he spoke it, except for recently. He hadn't been smiling at all, the language always brought light into his eyes, but she never knew why. He had said his mother taught him before she died, so maybe it made him feel connected to her. One thing was for sure, Kurt wasn't there today. She searched the room frantically when he wasn't at his desk, doodling in this little book until she walked by, when he would cover it and blush. What did he have to hide? He had never missed a French class before. Rachel began to get worried. Finn was also in the class, but he sucked at French. Something clicked in her, maybe the reason for everything.

Wait, Finn. Of course! Kurt was in love with Finn Hudson! Rachel knew he admired the tall clumsy teen, but it went so much deeper, Rachel thought of the way Kurt always stared at Finn with that hidden longing in his eyes. No one ever seemed to notice it except for her. But now she knew. She was starting to realize she had more in common with Kurt Hummel than she realized, and she couldn't be more confused as to why. I mean, he hated her, right? To find out what was with Kurt, she would have to look to herself.

Rachel had left her notebook in the choir room. Her precious, precious songbook. No way in hell she was leaving it there over break! She would DIE. There was no afternoon rehearsal today, so she found the room abandoned. She quickly scooped up her notebook, and looked over to find the chair Kurt had knocked over was set back up, Kurt's designer shoulder bag underneath it. Mr. Shue's doing for sure. From the looks, he was hoping Kurt would come back as well. Kurt really must have been upset; he never let that bag leave his side. Curious, Rachel collected it in her arms and sat down on the chair. Glancing up to be sure no one was around, she opened up his bag and began to leaf around.

Aside from the usual notebooks and assignments, the only interesting thing she found was a small pocket sized sketch book, labeled only with a small red heart on the cover. The book he always covered up in French. She was about to explode! She disliked Kurt of course, but she had a soft spot for lovesick teens. Her gossip meter overflowing, she opened it up to find the first page had a picture of a classic cartoon heart and arrow, with the initials KH and FH inside. Her theories were confirmed. She was right! She knew he was in love with Finn, now was her chance to destroy the little bastard. She could have this spread around the school in an hour. But she couldn't bring herself to want to. She flipped a few more pages in to find a journal entry. Kurt had hand writing that had the elegance of calligraphy and the casual air of a love note. In a sense, it was a love note. It read,

_I have been dropping hints for ages yet you still throw me off your shoulder. I understand why however, I am useless, pathetic, and hopeless, I will never get my chance at you and I know it. You can never leave her. I cry everyday for you, yet nothing ever happens, you will never come to my rescue, I love you! Why won't you answer my call? I am a fag; I serve no purpose but to pull people down, you along with others. I should leave you be but I can't pull myself away…only the tears ease the pain. No one understands, not even you, as if you ever would…_

She couldn't read any further. Now she understood. She had written things like this before, of course she always burned them. The burning paper always soothed the constant pain she felt. Oh my god. It was true. Kurt had feelings for Finn as deep as her own. She really had a lot in common with him. That wasn't the only thing about them that was the same. Music, dancing, interests. Now she knew why he annoyed her most of the time, he was so like her, and she was an individual. She felt a deep personal connection to the flamboyant teen, knowing how he felt. She needed to see him; but no one had heard or seen anything of Kurt Hummel since he left. She knew what she had to do. She gathered up his bag and her notebook and rushed out of the music room. In her hurry, she bumped directly into Finn.

"Oh, hey Rachel. Um, is that's Kurt's bag?" he looked down curiously at the object she held.

"Yes, I found it in the choir room and was planning to drop it at his house. Do you have a car, I need a ride," her voice was demanding, but she looked up pleadingly at his face.

"Um, no I walked to school today, and I don't even know where he lives. I'm getting a ride home from Mercedes." Just then a sarcastic voice spilled from behind them, indicating her arrival.

"Speaking of which, we should go. I usually don't leave this soon, but do you mind if we stop by Kurt's place? I'm really worried about him, he's never ditched before." Her expression annoyed with a hint of deep concern for her best friend. She glared at Rachel, as if shunning her for living.

"Sure, no prob. Um, hey, do you mind if we give Rachel a ride? She needs to dump Kurt's bag off." Finn looked at Mercedes with puppy dog eyes.

"what? Wait, she has his… Ugh," Mercedes humphed, "Fine. Let me call him and let him know, if he answers. He distances himself sometimes." She dialed his number and put the phone on speaker. He answered on the seventh ring.

"he-hello?" god, he sounded horrible. Tears clogged his voice as he breathed heavily into the speaker. Concern flashed through the three of them as Mercedes answered.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?"

"Horrible."

"Sweetie, I'm coming over. Me and a couple people are worried."

"Um, who?" he sniffled as he attempted to mask a sob.

"Well, me, Finn…" she was cut off by a large sob.

"NO! NO PLEASE GOD NO not that! " He began sobbing uncontrollably into the phone before a loud noise broke out and the phone abruptly hung up. Rachel looked at the others before gasping.

"shit. We need to get over there, now." Finn and Mercedes looked at Rachel shockingly. She never cussed, Rachel had said once it tainted her reputation. Rachel looked at them before shouting. "NOW! Go to the car NOW!" Mercedes and Finn's eyes widened as they hurried out the door the black girl's car, Rachel storming behind them. Suddenly, Rachel stopped them.

"Wait, we need a battle plan." The others looked at her curiously. Rachel's face was deep in thought. She smiled.

"Let me handle this, I have a plan."


	5. Plan

Kurt had thrown his phone against the wall in rage and frustration after Mercedes mentioned Finn. He slapped himself in the forehead for breaking his phone, and that only made the wound on his head open up again. He clambered upstairs, both hands on the rail to keep from falling. What the hell was wrong with her?!? How could she even think to bring him here? She knew he loved Finn, she was the only one, so why would she? Didn't she care at all? How could she? But then it flashed into perspective. No. One. Cared.

He was useless to everyone so they threw his feelings off of their shoulders. Holy shit! He really had no meaning. As this sunk in he fell to his hands and knees; Blood dripped onto the floor and he groaned. What do you do for a head wound again? He settled for a jumbo sized band-aid. When he finally collapsed on to the couch, he was surprised to find his thought were momentarily not on Finn, but his mom. She would know what to do for fearsome bleeding. She always knew what to do for injuries; Kurt had had enough of them growing up.

God, he would do anything to get her back. He would have given his life to save hers. She would know what to do in this emotional sappy situation, in any situation. His heart began to clench as fresh tears rolled down his face and he choked out a sob. He wanted his mom to hold him and tell him it would be alright. He whispered to her under his breath.

"Mom, I need you… I need you so much." He curled into a fetal ball on in the middle of the couch and put his head on his knees. His pants soon had large wet spots where his tears soaked the cloth. "Why did you have to leave?" he didn't know how long he sat there, crying. Crying for Finn, the song… his mom. His life was worthless. Everything he loved was gone or out of reach. He wailed in misery as his sobbing continued. Right in the middle of his self pity streak a soft voice came from behind him.

"Oh, Kurt. I'm so sorry."

* * *

Ohmygod. He knew that voice. Kurt groaned as his brain processed it. He hoped he was imagining it, he prayed he imagined it. He didn't turn around. He just stayed right where he was huddled in a ball of misery. He only moved when he heard someone sit on the couch beside him. He lifted his head hoping that it wasn't who he expected, of course, it was.

"Why are you here Rachel?" He managed to keep his voice from cracking, but he was now shaking horribly. Rachel felt her eyes widen in shock. Kurt looked horrible. His eyes were red and swollen, and he was wearing tattered sweat pants and an oversize sweatshirt. His hair was matted down and he had dark circles under his eyes. And wait, was that blood? Oh my god, Kurt was bleeding! The pathetic band aid on his head apparently was not of the absorbent type. She automatically pulled the first aid kit she always carried out of her back pack and went over to sit beside Kurt. He looked at her with tears rolling down his face. She peeled off the band aid to better examine the wound. She heard Kurt mutter something about slipping on the stairs. She turned his head so she could wipe up the blood.

"You left your bag in school; Mercedes gave me a ride over." Kurt looked at her and panicked when she said that.

"oh my god, did she bring…"

"Finn, yeah. He's outside." Kurt groaned and put his head on his knees as the thought of Finn seeing him like this ran through his head. He realized too soon that yes, his head was still bleeding. He obeyed calmly as Rachel sprayed antiseptic on him, though he did winch at the pain. No way in hell, Finn couldn't see him like this. Rachel began talking as she worked on Kurt's injury. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the couch.

"Kurt, this is my fault. I should have just given you the song. You deserve it, I let my selfishness get the best of me, I'm sorry. I had no idea this would happen." She looked at him. He opened his eyes, Kurt saw the usual pity me look in her eyes, but it was covered by caring, compassion and sympathy. He took a deep, uneven breath before speaking. His voice was so small, so, vulnerable.

"No, no it's not your fault. I did this to myself. I mean, I'm upset about the song of course, but, it's not that, it's just, I… god, I just…"

"Kurt, it's OK," she looked at his face and smiled at the confusion in his blue green eyes. "I know you are in love with Finn, so am I, it's nothing to be ashamed of." He looked at her with the most sorrow and misery filled eyes she had very seen, they were as wide as dinner plates. Obviously no one else knew his big secret. She wrapped a bandage around his head. The wound was about two inches long; a regular bandage just wouldn't cut it. he looked at her with watery eyes.

"Yes, it is something to be ashamed of. I mean, I'm a boy, Rachel. The people in this town will kill you for that, believe me, I know. My friend was thrown off a bridge for it. the only reason I'm alive is because I haven't admitted it. Until now." The tears that had just stopped spilled over once more. Rachel pulled him in closer, whispering consolation as he sobbed into her shoulder. She thought about the stains his tears might leave, but she could always dry clean.

"Shhhhhh, hey, hey. It's OK, every thing is going to be OK. I promise." He looked up at her and sat up hurriedly, pulling out of her grasp.

"No, it isn't. I have absolutely. No. Chance. At least you have a shot. Even if he leaves Quinn, I have no chance. Stupid, stupid heterosexuals. I'm in homophobic Ohio Rachel ; I never will get a chance. I'm useless, pathetic and I pull people down with my selfishness. I put myself first so I can make myself feel, wanted." He rolled his eyes, starting to look more like the Kurt Rachel knew and loved. He still shook violently, the tears were receding. But how could he say that?

"Kurt? Everyone loves you. Everything about you! You make glee club what it is. You have friends and people who support you. I know you have hard times, but sometimes, you just need to smile." He looked straight ahead for a minute or two, blinking rapidly. He closed his eyes and put his head on his chest. Rachel barely heard him when he spoke.

"Can you go for a little bit? Not forever, just, I need a minute." He sighed and leaned back. As Rachel got up to go outside, she turned and said, _**"**__**Vous ne tirez pas les gens vers le bas, vous les élever, et les gens vous adorent." **_Then she walked outside, leaving Kurt shocked and wide eyed staring after her. She heard his crying pick up as she walked out the door. dmn, she thought french would cheer him up. Mercedes and Finn were waiting expectantly.

"Any luck?" Mercedes looked at her challengingly. Rachel shook her head.

"Well, no, he's still sobbing like a baby. He really is a mess. His head got cut open as well, he says it was on the stairs." Rachel watched Mercedes' eyes open in concern. "He thinks no one cares about him, that he has no purpose and that he drags people down." Rachel bit her lip as she looked at the chocolate diva. Mercedes groaned in frustration. "Well that's just great. Now what? We can't leave him there! We need to get him to realize how much he makes people happy. Especially that smile of his." the three were standing there, puzzling over the situation at hand. Suddenly, Finn snapped his fingers and shouted, "Smile! I got it!" he leaned over and whispered to Rachel, who nodded enthusiastically. "Mercedes, does your phone have party line?"

"Yeah," she took it from her pocket, "why…" but Finn had already snatched it and was going on every line available. Soon everyone in glee was on the same phone line.

"Guys? Get over to Kurt's house, stat. we have a mission!"

Mercedes' looked confused. she had absoltuely no clue what the two others' were planning. finn grinned and asked her plainly,

"how familiar are you with Charlie Chaplin?"


	6. Smile

Where the hell was she? Kurt lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling. Every once in a while he thought he heard voice outside the front door as well as music playing. Thinking it was his imagination, his mind switched from that and onto the thinking of his mom's smell compared to Finn's, tears still brimming. Finn had a warm, husky smell, like a fireplace or old spice. His mom had a clean fresh light scent that always reminded him of lilacs and sunflowers. The memory of her smell brought a massive tear flow. His mind quickly changed the subject. It had been like, half an hour since Rachel left, he had asked her to come back, but apparently she didn't get that. Of course, little pathetic Kurt had been abandoned. God people sucked. In the middle of his ranting, ironically, Rachel came and sat in front of him. He sat up and wiped his eyes quickly forcing his tears to slow to a near stop. He looked at her with a blank expression. She sighed, taking time to get just the right words.

"Kurt, you shouldn't do this to yourself, you don't deserve it. You are usually so, happy. I miss your smile, we all do, and you haven't for like, a week. Your smile lit up the room and made us all happy." She grinned hugely. "So, to prove it to you, we've arranged a little something." Before Kurt had a chance to protest, guitar chords strummed out from behind him as Puck walked around playing. Kurt was mortified. God, he was worse than Finn being there. But, he recognized that song… no, no way. Then Rachel began to sing.

_Smile though your heart is aching  
Smile even though its breaking.  
When there are clouds in the sky  
you'll get by.  
_  
Finn joined her on the last part and Kurt panicked. His breathing sped up as Finn walked around to sit by Rachel, smiling that cocky smile Kurt loved. They sang the rest of the key in perfect harmony

_If you smile through your pain and sorrow  
Smile and maybe tomorrow  
you'll see the sun shining through  
for you. _

Just then, Mercedes voice burst into the scene. He turned to look over the couch as the diva sat next to him, putting her arm around him in comfort. She was followed by the rest of the glee club. Wow, the whole club was here. Their voices added to the melody between Mercedes Finn and Rachel. And, wait… Mr. Shue came too? Who would've thought? The people all took their seats around him, Tina sitting on his other side.  
_  
Light up your face with gladness,  
Hide every trace of sadness.  
Although a tear may be ever so near  
that's the time you must keep on trying  
Smile, what's the use of crying.  
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-  
If you just_ _smile._

Mercedes' voice was beautiful when joined by the rest of the glee club_. _He noticed especially on her solo.

_That's the time you must keep on trying  
Smile, what's the use of crying.  
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-  
If you just_ _smile_

_Smile though your heart is aching  
Smile even though its breaking.  
When there are clouds in the sky  
you'll get by._

_That's the time you must keep on trying  
Smile, what's the use of crying.  
You'll find that life is still worthwhile-  
If you just_ _smile._


End file.
